a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
