I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
