your thong is hanging out like whoa
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
