david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
