yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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