hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
