We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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