Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I checked into jail on foursquare
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
