he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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