why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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