WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
