Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
