That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
