I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
