Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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