SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
