Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
