We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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