dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Every concussion has its silver lining
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
