I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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