Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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