Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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