Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
