Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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