asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
