? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize