We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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