My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
