i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
