he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
