Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
