That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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