Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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