sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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