The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
