Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
nutella sex= disaster
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
