I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
operation harelip BJ is a go
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i've created a new STD.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
