i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
