i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize