My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
PANTIES FOUND
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