If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
This is not my ceiling
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
