My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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