quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
