from now on my penis is your penis
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just high enough for therapy.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
