I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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