My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
