He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
