He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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