I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i was born a porn star she said
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's never too late to be topless.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
