You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
