After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
