I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize