I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
