Screwed.edu
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
