He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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